Marriage is no joke: even after you get past the realization you are spending the rest of your life with someone and will always be around them, everything suddenly becomes very stressful and very expensive. Luckily when you’re a happy couple you can always add your own flair to everything and make it your own; you have the freedom to be as cheeky as you want! For instance, you can always dance your way down the aisle of your ceremony, or sew your own marriage garments.
Don’t have the skills for that? Easy! Go online and order a funny wedding cake topper instead, you know, to symbolize the relationship the two of you have: it’s a hilarious idea and totally Instagram-worthy. Many couples have had their own toppers make to make homage to a running joke in their relationship, but which toppers have been the most original? Here are the top 16 original and funny wedding cake toppers that you can steal and use for your own wedding!
#12 – For the couple who works out together.
I don’t know about you, but nothing says true love like bench pressing your new wife. This power lifting couple is sure to have a happy life together, and if they don’t they’ll probably just have an arm wrestling match to decide who is right. Maybe after 30 years of reps he’ll be strong enough to take out the trash the first time he’s asked, or perhaps by then he’ll be strong enough to crush everything flat between his hands like a makeshift trash compacter.
#11 – For the eccentric ones who like to troll people.
I want you to look closely at the background of this photo. Notice anything funny? They say that the couple who neighs together stays together. This probably wasn’t too popular at the reception with each other’s parents, but who has a marriage for those guys anyways. If you want to dress up like four legged animals and let your love flow free through the field like a majestic stallion, then you have every right to do so: your love is as magical as the unicorn you dress like.
#10 – For the bride who has to drag her husband’s butt away from his gaming console
Gaming is a great hobby if you have the free time, but if your significant other needs to literally drag you away from the game, then you may need to rethink your life choices. Or maybe you need to re-think your marriage, because a woman who can’t appreciate a man saving the world is an enemy to humanity. Hurry up and get this whole marriage thing over so that “xxbootyslayer23xx” can get back to fighting aliens, and getting into arguments with 13 year olds online.
#9 – For the self-admitted Bridezilla
I’m going to buy a ton of these wedding cake toppers and send them to all of my friends who are getting engaged: I’m preparing them for the painful reality that some women turn into monsters when they’re preparing for their wedding day. This “Bridezilla” topper is sure to make the woman in his life VERY happy, you can trust me on this one: I’ve been through three failed marriages and never had a Bridezilla cake topper; don’t be like me, man, you need to learn from my mistakes.
#8 – For the lady with a sexy man in her life.
This bride just can’t seem to keep her hands off of her new husband. Let’s hope she doesn’t end up making an ass of herself at the reception, by trying to cop a feel during their vows. I have seen a couple movies like this before but we can’t show them at the wedding with so many young people around. At least you know the couple has a happy sex life if they can’t even tie the knot without trying to tie a few more on the bed stand.
#7 – For the couple who aren’t afraid to admit that they love booze.
This topper represents the couple that takes full advantage of the open and endless bar, and aren’t ashamed of it. Let them have their reckless fun, they might as well enjoy it while it lasts; once a baby or two pop out they won’t be any more room for wild nights and splurges on wine: they’ll quickly be replaced with diapers, toys, and baby food. So cheers, here’s to you guys, may you drink until you forget the pain and suffering awaiting the both of you.
#6 – For the couple who are on an unlimited plan
This happy couple spends all of their time talking to each other on the phone, even when they’re in the same room! I hope they’re careful, one dead zone with no cell service could spell the end of their marriage, and god forbid they have to get on limited plans. Marriage is about communication but probably not to this extent, that husband is going to lose his mind the first time he sees the mutual cell phone bill, it will probably cost more than the wedding itself.
#5 – For the couple who want to be Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
This is for the bad ass couple that isn’t afraid to channel their inner Brad and Angelina; they came into the world, and now they’re ready to take the world out. After the reception they both spent their honeymoon at the gun ranges, having a romantic evening with a muzzle-lit dinner. Usually with this kind of shotgun wedding you’d see the couple wearing a camouflage tux and gown, but I suppose they might have been worried that they couldn’t find each other at the altar.
#4 – For the sports fans that want to spend their whole lives together.
Couples that enjoy sports together are arguably the greatest kind. This topper does kind of pose an interesting question though, are we hopping that they strike-out? Or is it some kind of euphemism for a home run? Maybe I’m just reading into this a little bit too much, but surely someone at the wedding must have asked the same questions in a whispered tone. Of course if they bride her people criticizing her cake topper she’d eject them from the game: you’re out of here!
#3 – For the groom who managed to snag a bride because of a big rock.
Are you a single guy who feels like it’s time to settle down? Well finding a wife is just like fishing: you have to use the right bait! Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but you have to make sure you’re fishing at the right kind of place. Careful what kind of bride you walk out with, there are too many husbands these days doing a catch and release. Guys, never try to entice your special someone with marriages unless you mean it, or you’ll never have a chance to fish again.
#2 – For the groom that has a workaholic bride.
To be strong and independent are commonly desirable traits to find in a partner, but sometimes it can go a little too far; some independent people get so caught up in their work that they even forget they’re getting married: put down the forms, sister! At least the two of them have job security figured out, now hopefully they spend a fair share of time figuring out marriage security as well: otherwise the papers they’ll be filling out will be a whole lot less profitable, and a whole lot less fun.
#1 – For the couple who vowed to stay, and fight together during the zombie apocalypse.
Last, but not least, this is my personal favorite of every topper on the list. This cake topper simultaneously screams “true love,” and “WE WILL KILL EVERYONE,” at the same time. Nobody wants to go through the zombie apocalypse by themselves, so you better marry someone who wants to alongside you before you find yourselves at each other’s necks. This could should hang out with the gun toting couple to increase their chances: with that much firepower at their disposal they’re sure to make it to their anniversary.