Management leaders usually put up with A LOT of attitude and complaints from their employees: just think about all the stupid co-workers you’ve had in the past; I’m sure you can’t help but feel sorry for the people who have had to manage those idiots. Aside from making sure the business isn’t bleeding money, managers have to try and keep their workers in line, and in some cases, that is a lot easier said than done; this is where a certain Walmart deli worker named only as “Shane” comes in.
A Reddit user named “ArdentLeprechaun,” Shane’s co-worker, shared photos of their management’s whiteboard messages aimed at correcting Shane’s abhorrent behavior. Shane is the best of the worst when it comes to hilarious office antics, and no matter what he gets told, he seems to have something else up his sleeve. Think you’ve seen what it’s like when things get as bad as they can on the job? I assure you that Shane has made the lives of his co-workers absolutely maddening. Check out these 12 hilarious messages from management that shame their mischievous employee, Shane!
#12 – Free Samples
It’s quite simple to mistake the electronics department for the deli: I’ll take the beefed up sound system in the back, please! Shane is a good guy, I just wish I had the opportunity to test my electronics before buying them, but then companies would start losing money hand over fist when people realized how crap their products were. If we could test out our equipment, people would realize that most headphones don’t sound any better than two tin cans, strung together by some twine: at least those are plentiful in the deli.
#11 – 8-piece chickens.
It seems Shane has been up to some mischief again by placing unnecessary stickers on the deli’s food items, but how else will people know that the chicken doesn’t come pre-assembled? Do you think the deli will at least include an instruction manual for people that have never put together a chicken before? Is an egg considered a pre-assembled chicken? Maybe Humpty Dumpty can teach us how to put chickens back together, since we know that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men don’t know anything.
#10 – Personality Disorder
Has anyone considered that Shane might have multiple personalities, like for real? It would certainly explain why he seemingly doesn’t take no for an answer. Maybe Shane is the “good guy” and each of his personalities is just horrible employees that want to terrorize consumers everywhere, but then again, maybe Shane is just messing around with people for kicks, which sounds like something he would do. With this new-found personality disorder of his, Shane can be twice the salesman you ever were. Take that, Mark from Financing!
#9 – The Good Stuff
It seems like everyone has heard the story of customers insisting that there is private inventory located in the back, and now we all know whose fault it is. Shane is doing whatever it takes to keep his quota met, even if it’s with questionable methods. I knew a couple of guys back in the day who lost their jobs for using similar tactics to Shane; they were a little too eager to approach people and ask them if they wanted to go in the back, and check out some of their “roll-out” prices.
#8 – Ventriloquist
To be honest, this seems like the best place for Shane to practice his new-found hobby since salesmen are already complete puppets as it is. Can you imagine how impressive it would be to see a turkey talking to you from behind the counter? Shane needs to get out of this place, and start taking his show in the road, all the while tricking people into thinking they’re actually chatting with a stuffed bird. I tell you, someone gets a little creativity these days, and some corporate big wig has to snuff it out.
#7 – Mystery Meats
Have you ever wondered whether that was really chicken in your sandwich or not? Companies are always fumbling over themselves to make sure consumers know the quality of the food that they sell, but Shane isn’t going to let them pull the wool over our eyes any longer. There is a mystery afoot, and only Shane is man enough to solve it. Shane is trying to uncover the truth behind the mystery meat, but MANAGEMENT CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! We’re on to you management, something isn’t right here, and it isn’t the meat.
#6 – Is that your final answer?
After spending the majority of my life dealing with incompetent service people, this is really the kind of show I have always dreamed of watching: Who Wants to Be A Well Serviced Customer. People would come from all over the world to finally have the opportunity to get in and out of a store before rush hour. Instead, I’m stuck behind someone buying fifty of the same item, and loading each of them on the belt without counting. Any chance I can get an audience vote from the line of angry people behind me?
#5 – Extended Warranties
I can’t imagine living in a world where you can’t have warranties on fried chicken. Walmart, why are you depriving us of this right? Shane is an innovator! He should be promoted to CEO! So tell me more about these warranties, like does it cover the food going bad? What about if my filthy roommate Paul eats the chicken while I’m asleep? Is there some kind of terms of service I can look over before I make a decision? Thanks a lot, Shane, you’re a lifesaver.
#4 – Albertsons
Looks like Shane may be ready to put in his two week notice, and I don’t blame him: this company has been holding him back for two long! Shane will be looking for a new grocery job, but he should be careful, because I hear the competition is pretty steep at Albertson’s; they have the best priced items, the largest selection, and even their content articles are good too; in case you were wondering, it’s just down the street and off to the right.
#3 – Deli Equipment
You can’t blame a guy for trying to make the company a little extra money on the side; if the price is right then the price is right. Did they at least ask Shane what he was quoting the equipment at? Perhaps Shane should try doing his job correctly at the deli before becoming an equipment salesman; not that I don’t think he’d do a good job, but he does seem like the kind of guy who can only focus on one thing at once.
#2 – Stoner Approved
I had a funny feeling about what Shane does with his free time. All these pranks and jokes just didn’t seem to be coming from a malicious place, but sure enough, our friend Shane from the deli isle has been trying out the produce. I figured Shane was just the class clown at work, but apparently he needs a little more than coffee to jump start his day. If there is anyone that I put my trust in to tell me the quality of a snack, it’s heavy people and stoners, so this is a quality control I can get behind.
#1 – Swinecraft
Shane should just quit his job and get a move on with this “Swinecraft” idea, because there’s a 420% chance that it’s going to make him a multimillionaire. Shane’s early retirement can be his metaphorical “middle finger” to management for never believing in any of his kooky ideas, and he’s just a step away from having everything he needs: some investors. Thankfully, Shane works in a deli since he’ll be rolling in some serious dough soon: take that you corporate sellouts! The score is now, Shane-1, Terrible Management-0.