For some people, shopping has become a therapeutic activity that they find comfort and relaxation in when everything gets a bit too stressful. Although shopping can take the edge off of a rough day, it’s easy to get anxious when other shoppers have brought along their kids. Sure, some kids behave like angels, act polite, and don’t throw tantrums…but what about those that scream bloody murder whenever they get bored?
No one likes the sound of crying babies; it’s enough to split your ear drums and cause you to begin contemplating dark thoughts you never knew you had in you. If you prefer crying kids over smiling ones, then it might be time to schedule an appointment at the local therapist yourself. Not everyone shows their displeasure in the same way, however, and some kids who dislike shopping will wind up doing the funniest things to make their time in hell just a little more enjoyable. Here are the top 16 kids who I wish were around for my amusement during my horrible shopping days.
#16 – These kids who are probably mastering their Pokemon skills instead of helping mommy with her bags.
It’s the digital age, so it’s not that surprising that parents are using high tech gadgets and gizmos to distract their kids during an activity most children find boring. These kids are working together to make it through the day, and they’re also training to become the best darn Pokemon master in the world. Isn’t it weird how boredom can bring us all together in a time of need? It’s like suddenly when you’re faced with a choice between shopping, and hanging out with the kid picking his nose, the selection is obvious: become the best that there ever was.
#15 – This poor boy who fell asleep in the shoe store because his mother is trying on millions of shoes. Again.
We’ve all been stuck with our mothers in a shoe store, which is an activity boring enough to put anyone to sleep. It’s nice to look fashionable, but when do you say enough is enough when trying on shoes? You may as well catch some Z’s while mom buys her millionth pair of heels that she doesn’t need. This kid looks like the only pair of shoes that he would care about are a pair of ruby slippers: there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!
#14 – This little kid who wants to get out so badly, that he decided to suffocate himself with his mom’s cardigan.
This kid either wants to suffocate himself, or he’s simply courteous enough to muffle his screams for help. This little guy is practicing the Ostrich mentality: if he buries his head and can’t see the store then maybe it will all go away; unfortunately for him, it will still be there when he uncovers himself, but in life that is how all horrible things are. No matter what he’s trying to accomplish, this kid is certainly bringing attention to his cause, and evoking a few laughs in the process.
#13 – Little Iron Man who wouldn’t leave the toy aisle until mom and dad gets him some stuff.
Well aren’t you a precious little Avenger? This kid is a real hero for not throwing a noisy temper tantrum, and instead opting for a silent protest by sitting quietly in the middle of the aisle; adults like to play that game too, and it’s called “look at all the things I can’t have” (except when we play it’s usually followed with a shot of liquor). We all know how Tony Stark feels about his toys, but when you become a billionaire like him you can get whatever you like.
#12 – This kid that got publicly shamed.
You just have to wonder what kind of fib this kid told to deserve this kind of treatment. It would seem like cruel and unusual punishment at first, but that’s pretty much what every customer looks like at Walmart. This punishment is either going to make him stop lying altogether, or it’s going to build him into the best liar the Wild West has ever seen. You’ve already hit rock bottom kid, there isn’t that much farther to fall, so you may as well go for broke at this point.
#11 – This cute baby who has probably seen things–THINGS THAT CAN RUIN LIVES!
This kid looks absolutely surprised, and I don’t think he was staring at the bargains. This is the face of someone who was sleeping peacefully and woke up to find yourself in someone else’s cart; that was my reaction every time my parents told me we were going shopping while I was already in the car. This kid looks terrified, and we’ll never know what they experienced that left them in such a hilarious state. What shocked you, baby? Tell me what horrors you saw!
#10 – This poor little baby who probably tired himself out from shopping.
One of the downsides of falling asleep while everyone else is shopping for groceries is that you don’t get to make any suggestions on what tasty treats are being bought; he’s literally snoozing with a pack of doughnuts dangling mere inches away from his face. This poor sap doesn’t know what he is missing! You’ve got to give this kid credit for having the ingenuity to actually figure out a way to sleep inside the store. This boy is going places in life…probably straight to bed.
#9 – This boy who thought that the mannequin was his mommy.
It’s quite possible that this child dislikes shopping so much that he has decided to dump his mother, and be adopted by a mannequin instead. Unfortunately for him, he’ll soon find out that when your mother is a mannequin, you have to live in the store seven days a week. If your kid abandons you for a plastic statue then that might be a pretty good sign that they are fed up with shopping. This little boy doesn’t even want to look at his mom and dad: that’s some serious silent treatment.
#8 – This little kid who’s having none of it anymore.
This was how we all felt as children whenever we were told that we couldn’t have all the candy and cereal in the store for ourselves. That’s right little Billy, express your frustration in the only way you know how, and stick it to the adults! Show them that if you don’t get what you want, you’ll face plant on the floor AND still not get what you want. Occasionally I still feel this way as an adult: I just want to go home and lie face down until all my problems go away: they never do, though.
#7 – This little girl is asking for help.
“Help me!” That’s what this little girl’s expression is telling us loud and clear. Everyone knows about the chaos that happens in a Banana Republic during a sale; people are crowding all over the place, and grabbing anything that has bright red letters and looks like it might be a bargain. Helping her out might be considered kidnapping, but I don’t think this little girl would mind at the moment; she’s pressed against the glass wondering why this horrible building is surrounded by an invisible force field that’s preventing her escape. Be her hero!
#6 – This little gentleman is too respectful to look at ladies’ underwear.
This is so funny to look at, and I can just imagine this poor little guy’s troubles; he’s struggling to keep a straight face, and still trying to be a complete gentleman while his mom brings him into a Victoria’s Secret to check out some underwear. Don’t worry little guy, give it a few years and you’ll do a complete 180. This must have been extremely awkward for him, but I’d bet if we asked dad he’d say it was all worth it, especially now that we’ll always have this picture.
#5 – This kid who probably thinks his granny’s taking too long to shop.
As a child there was nothing quite as boring as shopping with your grandmother. This boy is half ready to give up, lie down in front of the cart, and let grandma end his misery once and for all; he needs a boost of energy pronto, so someone should crack open one of those cans of soda so this kid can make it through the day. This boy’s mom is just looking at her notes like this is a common occurrence: “oh great little Johnny is scraping his face on the floor again. What aisle is the cereal again?”
#4 – This cutie pie that gave up on walking.
How do you get back at your parents for forcing you to go shopping with them? You be as difficult as possible, and make them drag you the whole time of course; just cling to the cart for dear life while they shop, and before long they’ll never want to take you shopping again. Yeah, you may get grounded and lose all your video games, but you won’t have to step foot in a grocery store again for at least 10 years: definitely worth it!
#3 – This kid who wants to do yoga instead of shop.
This is why I don’t do yoga. If attempted something like this kid is doing in this picture, I’d split my hip in two, and the only groceries I’d be able to eat would be out of a straw. I can’t do any kind of stretch, and especially not as perfect as this kid’s masterful execution. You know that the store must be excruciating when your idea of trying to have fun includes yoga moves like you’re Dhalsim from Street Fighter. When he said he wanted to split, I bet his parents didn’t think he meant it “literally.” What’s the controller input for “Yoga Let’s-get-out-of-here?”
#2 – This little boy who probably thinks the grocery store is a little too warm.
This boy knows what’s up during the summer months. Every little step he takes feels like torture due tothe heat; what’s this kid’s brilliant solution to escape the fire and flames, and carry on? Lodge himself inside a refrigerator, and hang out in there until his parents are done shopping. He needs a better hiding spot though, the first place they’ll look for him is next to the pizza rolls; after they find him not only is he going to have to walk in the heat, he’ll be in hot water with his parents too.
#1 – This champ who’s tired of looking at bras.
We already met a kid who was embarrassed by women’s underwear, and we already met a kid who couldn’t stay awake at the shoe store, and what we have here is the best of both worlds. This poor guy has to sit through something that’s some serious adolescent torture, and he probably thinks it will never get any better. Don’t worry, bud, a few years down the line when you get a girlfriend, the lingerie store will be the best stop on the trip; trust me.