Yikes! 19 Hilarious Creatures You Will Only Find Inside a Walmart
It seems like every week something is breaking down, or you need to swing by somewhere to pick up some groceries; you could head to an electronic depot, or stop at your local meat market, but who wants to spend twice as much as you would down at your local Wal-Mart? It’s just so darn convenient! The biggest price you have to pay at Wal-Mart is the price of your dignity, but that’s nothing compared to discount Hot Pockets.
People with a little extra disposable income than the average Joe will avoid Wal-Mart like the plague, and it isn’t difficult to see why: they don’t have to deal with some of the strangest people on the planet. Walking into Wal-Mart will open you up to the weirdest situations imaginable, and has no problem making downtown Las Vegas look like a Mormon convention. But just how wild do the people of Wal-Mart actually get? Well, you asked for it. Here are the 19 hilarious creatures that you can only find at a Wal-Mart.
#19 – Tailgating
A shopping trip to the mega store that we know as Wal-Mart can be a fairly exhausting journey; after a long stroll through the aisles, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that this fellow got tuckered out and needed a little break. What better way to get some quick shut eye at your local Wal-Mart than to spot up in the bed of your pickup truck in the parking lot: that way you can also catch some rays while you nap. We’re not sure if this man is waiting for another shopper, but if his wife is anything like mind I think this man might be on to something genius.
#18 – Digging
The rule of ”No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” doesn’t really apply when it comes to Walmart stores, since if that was the case they would lose the majority of their clientele; they do still ask, however, that you wear pants when you walk in, but this guy is taking it more as a guideline than a rule. You can’t blame this guy too much, the quality of most products are so terrible that he is likely just looking for something he can compare it for reference.
#17 – Big Baby
Having to shop through Walmart with a bunch of parents pushing around their crying kids is bad enough without having an adult sized baby taking up space. Just imagine running into this…thing…when you’re just trying to pick up some apples and an HDMI cord. If this person makes the same noises that a baby does then you’re to feel like you’ve fallen dab smack into the middle of a horror movie: this is why some people carry guns! I have to be honest here; I’m not convinced that ammunition wouldn’t bounce off of this creature and just piss it off more.
#16 – Another Big Baby
The last baby was bad in a creepy and unnerving way, but this baby is just confusing and sad. The space she is sitting in is meant for small children, but they actually broke the cart just so that this woman didn’t have to walk. If walking is so difficult for this woman then I would suggest a mobility scooter, but honestly after displaying this kind of behavior I would prefer if she left Wal-mart for good: we’d be better off without her. .
#15 – All Nighter
If there is one saving grace about being dragged to Walmart as a kid, it was the video game section: not only could you see all of the games that were too expensive for your family to buy for you, but they also had playable demos that you could play on screens that would break your neck because they’re so darn high. This guy got a little bit snoozy after all of those demos and needed a nap to recoup himself. Can you really blame the guy? Too much saving the planet can really wipe you out.
#14 – Slicked Back
If you want to see a man that is hard to get a read on, it’s this guy right here; does he work on a ranch, is he partial to line dancing and Elvis Presley, or is he just super insecure about his hair? While the shirt suggests that he might be a bit too much into early 90s fashion, the hair, well, that suggests that he should probably spend a bit more money on hair styling products, or at least do some of his shopping outside of Wal-Mart: it’s not a good look for you, man!
#13 – Tropical Hair
At least the last person on this list actually looked like they took pride in their hair; this woman looks like she tried to cut her own hair, gave up halfway through, and just tied whatever was still left into confusing knots all over the place. Maybe an eyebrow cut would have been better suited for this woman, because as is she might accidentally scare some of her fellow shoppers into thinking they’ve encountered a domestic big foot, and that isn’t going to end well for anybody.
#12 – Pickup Artist
They say that if you want to find someone perfect for you, then bumping into them at the grocery store is a good place to start; I don’t actually know who said that but in this case I wouldn’t listen to their advice. If the grocery store is part of your local Super Wal-Mart then I would suggest staying away from everyone else when it comes to dating: you have no idea what you might catch, or whether they even got their rabies shots! This dating Casanova is ready to meet the love of his life and has decided to use advertising space he has on his back to showcase it. I doubt anyone has actually called in response to this questionable personals ad, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.
#11 – We Have A Wiener
The last thing you want to see in a Wal-Mart is somebody’s wiener, but unfortunately you can’t choose what you’re going to see at Wal-Mart; in the case of this pleasant old gentleman, we actually don’t mind the distraction because he seems nice enough. Everything below the head suggests that this photo is of a normal old man, but why on Earth would he be wearing a giant hotdog hat on his head? Is he just that big a fan of mystery meat products? If so, then Wa;-Mart is definitely the right place for that.
#10 – Flirting
Stepping into a Wal-Mart is like stepping into a time machine, except it can only take you to the lame parts of history. When you step into a Wal-Mart brand time machine, it will take you back to 1995 when fashion like this is still considered hip for the week that it was popular. Not only does this guy have matching long shorts to go with his short sleeve button up, but the cherry on top of the cake is his backwards visor. This man probably owns every “Limp Bizkit” and “Insane Clown Posse” album that has ever been released, and he’s likely proud of it!
#9 – Making Friends
Old people are horrible at Wal-Mart, kids are horrible at Wal-Mart, and obese people are horrible at Wal-Mart; With as many horrible people that there is ate Wal-Mart, we forgot one demographic that makes all of us cringe: the teenagers! In small cities, Wal-Mart is basically a shopping mall where teenagers go to do stupid things in public: one of those things is carrying around blowup dolls, apparently, and nobody is doing anything about it. We get it, man, you’re young and you don’t want to go anywhere without your first girlfriend.
#8 – Deli Belly
Imagine, if you will, a situation where you have gotten so large that your clothes no longer cover about half a foot of your midsection; one of the last places you would go to with that kind of situation is in public, especially a Wal-Mart deli, but that isn’t stopping this woman from getting the sandwich she deserves. The finest meats and cheeses that the world has to offer is simply too alluring for this woman to stay home, and you can actually see a giggle from the man in the background who is thinking what we all are in secret: we’re witnessing an act of cannibalism here!
#7 – Staredown
Some people will give you a thousand yard stare when they see you walking in public, but usually they aren’t very intimidating; in the case of Bonifa here, you’d start walking a little bit faster if you got a stare from someone like this. Perhaps it’s the hair that’s got us spooked so much, or perhaps it’s the necrotic skin tone, or maybe it’s the wild makeup that gives us the creeps, but all we know for sure is that it’s time to make a beeline for the car before she senses your life energy.
#6 – Wild Style
Where do you start with this man? Is it the pink and purple beard or hair? Is it the crazy orange framed sunglasses reminiscent of the 1980s? Is it the cracked teeth that might suggest some questionable drug use? Is it the peace sign necklace broken in half? Is it the suggestive shirt that said “I didn’t do it?” Or could it possibly be the fact that he has cut holes into his shirt to make a torso face complete with nipple eyes? I’m not really sure, but I think I owe this guy a drink for some reason.
#5 – Clown College
People have a lot of different kinds of phobias, and one of the most common that you encounter with others is a fear of clowns: clowns are creepy, and they’re usually associated with horror movies and weird people, so you can’t fault someone for trying to avoid them. The woman on the left just looks like your run of the mill Juggalo that you might encounter in Michigan, but the one on the right looks like the kind of something that will kill you in your sleep and wear your skin to a birthday party.
#4 – Kidnapper?
We’re used to seeing people wear pajamas and sweatshirts to Wal-Mart by this point, so encountering another cracked out person in sleepwear isn’t surprising: it’s so common that we’re numb to it. We’re also used to seeing kids being pushed around in strollers past the age where they should really be getting a free ride. The person in this photo breaks the mold for both the pajama-wear and stroller usage stereotypes by having a crazy look in her bagged eyes while pushing around a MONKEY PLUSH DOLL in a night outfit. Why is she doing that? Probably hallucinogenics, but it’s more fun with the mystery.
#3 – Green Man
Ever since the episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” came out where one of the characters wears a neoprene green bodysuit wherever they go, people have been wearing these things everywhere to re-live the gag. We’re not sure how old this person is, but even if it’s a teenager then they still no better than to make them look this silly on the internet for the reward of a cheap laugh. The purple and pink sneakers are a nice touch though, it’s always nice to see a little originality when ompletely copying someone else’s idea.
#2 – Chain Gang
I don’t want to jump to any rash conclusions, but there is a distinct possibility that this guy checking out the expensive digital cameras at Wal-Mart might be into some fringe sexual stuff. The muscles and tattoos are a pretty common sight to see, but the tank top covering almost nothing, and the weirdly huge literal chain necklace, have us scratching our heads. Do you think he wanted to steal any of those cameras? Who would stop him if he did, The Undertaker?
#1 – Bojack Horse Man
If you crop out the right side of this photo, it looks like a completely ordinary guy in a cardigan who is about one good shave away from fitting in, then you see the whole image, and it’s actually a sad photo of a man who believes he is a human and horse hybrid. This guy probably upset a whole bunch of Wal-Mart employees when he kept knocking items off of the shelves with his enormous rear end, but do you this guy really cared? Neigh.